Simplistic Beauty

As a child I was definitely considered to be the goodie-two-shoes. I was happy and my spirit was one that was crazy and full of little girl sassiness! I spoke my mind and so easily I loved those in my life. I wanted to show people my life, I wanted to tell all the little details of my every move. I didn't try to hide my flaws or my feelings, I was completely transparent. When you saw me, I showed you who I really was. That was me as a child. Today, as life has happened and I have grown older I have reflected on my life and have come to realize that I am no longer transparent. I no longer let others see me entirely. Am I lying about who I am? No. I just have automatically made a defense mechanism of having so many emotional walls up to prevent others from hurting me. I believe transparency comes easily as a child. When we are young we believe that no one will ever hurt us, that everyone loves us and wants our best. As we get older, we come to the sad realization that humans are s

Throughout the years I would have said that I have become wiser, more understanding of how life works and what I am suppose to do in it. That is not the opinion that I have today. As an adult you are suppose to go to school or learn some sort of skill, get a job, find someone to marry, and move into your own place. You then are going to impact your family, your church, or your community in some way. This is what I expected, but that has not been my reality. I never thought I would ask what happens when God completely takes all of that away?  When you have prayed and done everything you thought was right and still nothing seems to be going in the right direction. As a Christian, what am I suppose to do? I tried to follow what was set before me, follow where God was leading in my life, and then again... and again...and again, the doors just seemed to close. I easily have found my way into discouragement through many different situations. It is so easy to focus on the fact that I don&#